Write It Well

“[A] seven-person team of statisticians, machine-learning experts and computer engineers …. was the longtime frontrunner in the contest…. The Netflix contest has been widely followed because its lessons could extend well beyond improving movie picks.”  – Steve Lohr, “Netflix Awards $1 Million Prize and Starts a New Contest,” New York Times, September 21, 2009

Finally…!  Someone who knows how to use a hyphen!  Lohr hyphenates “seven-person ” and “machine-learning” because these two-word phrases come before the nouns they describe – “team” and “experts.” There’d be no hyphen if either two-word phrase came after the noun: “They were experts in machine learning.” 

For more tips on how to use hyphens correctly, see Write It Well’s book Professional Writing Skills: A Self-Paced Training Program.

If you followed our tips for writing effective performance objectives, the task of reviewing an employees’ performance – or your own performance – will be easier and more rewarding. Acceptable performance documentation includes enough information and uses specific, objective language.  Here are the criteria for acceptable performance documentation:

• Describes behavior, performance, and results the evaluator has observed
• Describes behavior, performance, and results that other have observed
• Explains, illustrates, and supports the evaluator’s conclusions about the employee’s rating or ranking
• Documents agreements
• Tells employees clearly what they are doing well, and what they need to improve
• Documents learning plans or other expectations for growth

Here are several sets of statements taken from performance documents.  For each one, use your imagination to rewrite them so that the follow the criteria above.

1. Cecile’s clothing is inappropriate.
2. Daniel is very reliable.
3. Josh is very unprofessional in his dealings with clients.

Here’s one way to rewrite the statements so that they follow the criteria for effective performance documentation:

1. Cecile often wears jeans and sandals or sneakers to work, although she has been told that the dress code prohibits such casual cothing for customer service staff.
2. Daniel is at his desk ready to work by 8:30 every morning.
3. Three times during this performance period, I overheard Josh telling off-color jokes to clients.

Performance objectives (also called performance standards and performance plans) describe what an employee will do to meet specific job requirements.  Clearly written objectives define expectations for the employee.  They also provide a standard against which the person’s performance can be compared.  

Here’s an example:

Jared’s job description states that he is responsible for filling the book orders that come in on his shift. 

How would you write a performance objective for Jared that is SMART?
 
One of his objectives might be:
 
Follow the steps in the “Fill Orders” procedure to fill each book order that comes in on your shift.  All orders must be filled within two working days.  

Here are some tips for writing performance objectives:

• Focus on describing the results you want to achieve, not the activities you will perform.
• Do more than simply retate your job duties.
• Use the “who, what, and when” approach.  State clearly what will be accomplished, who is going to accomplish it, and by when.
• Begin objectives with an action verb.
• Make sure objectives are SMART.

What is SMART?
 
To be useful, most performance objectives should meet the following SMART criteria:

• Specific – Are they specific?
• Measurable – Are they measurable?
• Achievable – Are they achievable?
• Realistic – Are they realistic given the resources available?
• Time – Are they time-bound?

 
More information about SMART objectives, examples of objectives that are more difficult to measure, and activities and exercises can be found in Lesson 1 of Write It Well’s new book, Writing Performance Reviews: A Write It Well Guide.

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CBA_Link : Performance Improvement Technology for manufacturing, financial, and service organizations,
Learning and Performance Solutions : We work with companies to improve individual performance and management and leadership effectiveness
Eogogics Inc : Eogogics provides technology and soft skills training and services
Henderson Training : Solving your people problems
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Laurel and Associates, Ltd. : We specialize in helping technical trainers design and deliver effective classroom training.
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Merit Training Corporation : Training and consulting for corporations and government institutions.
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The Training Registry: Training Resources Directory: Courses, Consultants, Speakers, Trainers, Facilities, Coaches, etc.

Write It Well’s very own Janis Fisher Chan was quoted in an article in the San Francisco Examiner about e-mail etiquette and the recent blunders by Sarah Palin, Mark Sanford, and Elizabeth Becton. Read Janis’ tips for avoiding problems of your own.

Keep your reader reading by using short sentences and short paragraphs.

Studies show that people have to read sentences of more than 28-30 words at least twice and that long paragraphs are difficult for your reader. If you make your reader work too hard, they might give up.

As a general rule, keep the average length of your sentences to 18-22 words, with only one or two thoughts per sentence. If you are using technical or unusual terms, drop the count to 15-18 words.

Here’s a before/after example:

BEFORE: I worked with a number of managers and supervisors to explore the issues that surfaced during the change process, including their major concerns about their own future and a sense of loss as a result of change, and their less urgent concerns that have to do with a reconciliation of conflicting needs and priorities, and their questions about how the reorganization will affect production. (64 words)

Here is an easy method for revising a long sentence:

1. Break down the ideas in the sentence.

I worked with managers and supervisors to explore the issues resulting from changes.

Issues included:

concerns about their future
sense of loss as a result of change
concerns about conflicting needs and priorities
questions about how the reorganization will affect production

2. Write separate (short) sentences containing only one or two ideas.

AFTER: I worked with a number of managers and supervisors to explore the issues that surfaced during the change process. (19) People had a profound sense of loss as a result of the change and were very concerned about their future. (20) They were also concerned about reconciling conflicting needs and priorities and had questions about how the reorganization will affect production. (20)

The main point of any piece of business communication should always be at the beginning.   Here is a before/after example: 

BEFORE: While European demand has been affected by the worldwide slowdown, Peter Norton has brought in a new director of marketing and sales who has done a great job.   

See the attached spreadsheet for sales information by country.  North America did better than expected, with 1,768 units sold.  We’re planning to make a few product improvements that should further increase sales next year, and the new software program will also shorten the sales cycle.  Overall, the good news is that first-quarter sales were up by five percent.  This can be attributed to the strong performance by the European unit. 

AFTER: First-quarter sales were up nearly five percent above our goal.  The increase is the result of the new marketing campaign by our European unit.

While European demand has been affected by the worldwide slowdown, Peter Norton has brought in a new director of marketing and sales who has done a great job.   

Have you ever noticed  that the first paragraph of a newspaper article contains the most important information?  The rest of the article provides details that support, explain, expand on, or illustrate that information. 

Newspaper editors know that people often scan only the headline and first part of an article.  They also know that the final paragraph or two of a piece might need to be chopped off because of space limitations. That’s why they answer their readers’ most important questions right at the beginning. 

People read business communication the same way they read the newspaper; they scan the documents looking for answers to their questions.  If the answers aren’t easy to find, busy people will move on to the next thing. 

Putting the most important information first not only answers the readers’ most important question right away, it gives readers a context for the details that are to come.

New York  Times reporter Adam Bryant interviewed Richard Anderson, chief executive of Delta Airlines about what’s important in today’s business world.  Communication skills are high on his list.  Here are three quotes from the article about the importance of strong written communication:

“…when you write e-mail, you need to express yourself very clearly.”

“People really have to be able to handle the written and spoken word.”

“More and more, the ability to speak well and write is important. You know, writing is not something that is taught as strongly as it should be in the educational curriculum.”

With Write It Well’s facilitator materials, you can deliver the workshop yourself!  For less than $20 per person per day, you can deliver an excellent workshop (and wow your boss). Reduced printing costs have allowed us to discount the prices on our popular facilitator kits (Effective E-Mail and Business Writing).

Lists are more effective than paragraphs because they:

• communicate information quickly
• save valuable writing time
• reduce the chance of grammar and punctuation errors 

Here’s an example of text in paragraph form.  Read on to see the same information presented in list form. 

PARAGRAPH

The task force found that the customer service representatives need training in how to respond to problems and complaints.  There is widespread unhappiness about the quality of food in the cafeteria, indicating the need to find another vendor.  How to implement flexible hours without creating logistical problems requires additional study.  Finally, field representatives need more powerful laptop computers, which have not been included in this year’s budget.  These are the primary areas of concern the members of the task force believe they need to address during the next six months. 

LIST

Below are the primary areas of concern the members of the task force believe they need to address during the next six months:

• The customer service representatives need training in how to respond to problems and complaints
• There is widespread unhappiness about the quality of food in the cafeteria, indicating the need to find another vendor
• Additional study is needed to determine how to implement flexible hours without creating logistical problems
• Field representatives need more powerful laptop comptuers, which have not been included in this year’s budget

 To make sure your lists are easy to read, follow the guidelines below. 

1. Introduce the list.  Every list needs an introductory statement, if only a few words, that tells readers what the list is about. Make sure that you leave a space between the introductory statement and the first list item. 
2. Make sure that all items belong on the list.  All items on the list should be directly related to the introductory statement.
3. Keep lists short.  If you have more than five or six items in a list, you should consider creating more than one list.
4. Be consistent with initial capitalization and end punctuation. List items that are fragments of sentences do not have to begin with capital letters (unless the first word is a proper name).  If you capitalize the first word of one line, capitalize the first word in every item.  End punctuation is only necessary if an item contains more than one sentence. It’s not wrong to use end punctuation but if you use it for one item, you must use it for all items.
5. Keep the list parallel in form.  All items on the list should be presented in the same form.  For example, if one item begins with an “ing” verb, all items should begin with “ing” verbs.