February 26th, 2010
Commas in 3-D
While Burberry joined many designers in live-streaming its show online, it was the first brand to also do it in 3-D. Crowds packed the London show at the Chelsea College of Art and Design, but viewers in five cities around the world were also able to sit in the front row: the show was live-streamed in 3-D to Tokyo, New York, Paris, Dubai, and Los Angeles, where viewers donned special Burberry 3-D glasses.
— Isabel Wilkinson, “The Best of London Fashion Week,”
“Burberry Prorsum” page, The Daily Beast, February 24, 2010
Sometimes, perfect punctuation isn’t enough to make a sentence perfectly clear. Rewriting is the best answer.
Take this last sentence. Viewers in all five cities probably got the 3-D glasses, but the excellent punctuation still leaves you guessing whether the glasses were a perk of being in L.A.
We’d suggest this revision for clarity:
Crowds packed the London show at the Chelsea College of Art and Design. The show was live-streamed in 3-D to Tokyo, New York, Paris, Dubai, and Los Angeles, enabling all these viewers around the world to don special Burberry 3-D glasses and sit in the front row.
•
For more guidelines on how to use commas correctly and confidently and write crystal-clear sentences, see our updated book Professional Writing Skills: A Write It Well Guide, which will ship on March 5th!
Tags: 3-D, Burberry, clarity, Daily Beast, editing, fashion, live-streaming, punctuation, rewriting, series comma